Rarely do I divulge much of my Natal Chart or spend time in this newsletter delving into my own celestial thumbprint. Does it stand to reason that on the morning of an Aries New Moon (with Mercury in Aries turning direct) that I feel compelled to write about something personal? I would like to tell you a story about my own relationship to Aries. I have Saturn, the North Node AND Chiron in Aries holding court in my 7th House. For many of my clients, who use their charts regularly you have an inkling of what this might mean. Let’s break it down in keywords.
Aries: bold, individualistic, self-reliant, confrontational, self-driven even selfish, fiery, unafraid of anger, able to fulfill their wants and desires.
Seventh House: relationship-oriented, harmonious, acting for the two rather than the one, selfless, balanced, fair.
What should I do about the wild and the tame? The wild heart that wants to be free, and the tame heart that wants to come home. I want to be held. I don't want you to come too close. I want you to scoop me up and bring me home at nights. I don't want to tell you where I am. I want to keep a place among the rocks where no one can find me. I want to be with you. --Jeanette Winterson
If there is a place in my life where I have fought countless battles it is on the battleground of relationships. I would say I have failed, many, many times. There has been carnage, but there has been great learning, even evolution. I have continued to ask my close relationships to show me how to deal with anger (oftentimes in unfair ways). Anger and Aries (the god of war) have been so buried in my shadow that I didn’t know how to work with such fiery and seemingly uncontrollable emotions. I remember it was this emotion that my father could show us, although now as he’s grown older he has been able to show more compassion and nuanced emotion. I think it might be fiery anger that I equated with so-called masculinity as Aries has been traditionally called a masculine sign. I grew up in a world where I was taught to reject seemingly confrontational traits, ironically the traits that dance all over my 7th House. I didn’t learn how to stand up for myself by using confrontation and directness. I didn’t know that it was an honorable right, to stand up for myself. I didn’t learn how to use anger in the right ways. I didn’t know that anger could be the very thing that keeps us within our rights and boundaries. Believe me I do know the destructive qualities of anger and that many of us are angry at many things, the world, politics, and government. Right now I am talking about how to use anger in the right ways. How do we use anger in ways that help us take right action? And how do we deal with the contradictions that show up in our lives, and reflected in our charts?
I am awfully greedy; I want everything from life. I want to be a woman and to be a man, to have many friends and to have loneliness, to work much and write good books, to travel and enjoy myself, to be selfish and to be unselfish… You see, it is difficult to get all which I want. And then when I do not succeed I get mad with anger. --Simone de Beauvoir
When is anger working for us? What do we fear? What do we cower from? When do we recognize that we must fight for our right to be human? How much have we let shame direct our choices because we didn’t know our rights? When have we stood up for another person at a high cost to ourselves? When is it time to take action? What is right action? Do we abuse anger?
I suspected, as I’ve lived this part of my chart that there was something for me in the way of living with contradiction. My own pull to relate was at odds with my desire to be free. I wanted to keep all my relationships harmonious and yet was driven to stand up for myself even if it ruffled the proverbial feathers. Anger, or even simple confrontation was difficult. In this contradiction though I recognized the special tension these traits created and demanded of me. I have not fully learned how to dance this contradiction but know that this IS the stuff of life. As Rilke says I must take [my} practiced powers and stretch them out until they span the chasm between two contradictions...
As once the winged energy of delight
carried you over childhood's dark abysses,
now beyond your own life build the great
arch of unimagined bridges...
New Moon Journaling
In Aries mode find a time for a moment of solitude. Practice the breath of fire for a few moments. Light a candle and practice Trataka (the art of staring at a single point, in this case a flame, for the benefit of inner seeing). Let breath and pointed seeing allow the fire to spread through your body juicing up places in your body that haven’t been seen lately, or noticed. Let the heat work on you. Open your journal to lined, squared, un-lined, blank pages or pull out a blank canvass. Write or paint with the prompts below:
- Where is Mars in your chart, or Aries? How does this help you understand your relationship to anger, or your relationship to desire or getting what you want?
- What is your relationship to anger?
- What do you fear and how can you speak your truth?
- What do you recognize as your rights as a human on the planet? Do you defend yourself when those rights are violated?
- What kinds of obstacles get in the way of you showing the world your authenticity?
- Is there a situation where you need to confront rather than cower?